Came Back Haunted

Jane 11/03/21:

I have been reading some of this account. What strikes me is that I realise that what you went through in the physical world, I have had experiences of in the mental realm. Only for me these were via “Psycho-dramas”. In my mind. The reason I had those spiritual psychodramas was because I couldn’t be tested in the world because I didn’t live in the world I was in a bed, alone. Cut off entirely from the outside world. So it is a way for Source to test you without you literally experiencing it. By making you lose all sense of logical thinking. My path has been played out on the mental realm/dimension in a bed. Lol. Some of these psychodramas could go on for years for me. And I only discovered the truth of some of them when I got into technology. I could “google”. This shit has been crazy for me too! 

A psychodrama is where you are made to believe something. You get information via a kind of implant so your reaction is genuine. That reaction plays out as a test because there is no way you can fake it. Evidence of your true motives/intentions/feelings. You could say it acts like Sources lie detector test. On the spot testing. For ego. I got an implant that someone had just died in my conscious awareness. I then literally grieved for 3 days I sobbed for them.  Then only to discover it wasn’t true, it was just a test… This shit has been crazy for me too. I have come to the conclusion that the more surrendered to God’s will you are on this path, the more intelligent you are and the more you are trying to make sense of it via intellectual thinking and logic… Is what makes the crazy in us worse! Until you grasp the concept that what you are dealing with, is of an entirely different dimension….simples! 

Laz 12/03/21:

The thing that lingers most for me from my experiences, and I cannot deny it no matter how much I want to, is that it was so logical. These crazy things that I was experiencing were all connected and sequential, and lead me to a conclusion. They didn’t make sense to to people around me, but I was following a trail, a path, and it crossed multi-dimensions I am sure. What’s more amazing to me is that the things which I had no knowledge of were all real and written about by other humans in history. The most astounding part though was that it all related to scripture, and I became convinced that the story of Jesus is itself a parable for the journey of life that anyone can experience, a pattern to uncover if you will, of doing what’s right, of loving and of standing up for what you believe in only to be persecuted for it, and to be tested. The way to God can be through Jesus as is written, because having his experiences leads one to “god”, or the source of consciousness as I prefer it to be called. Jesus never wanted sycophantic followers, he wanted people to learn and live as he did, to “follow” his example, and not worship him.

Jane 11/03/21:

You have stated that you couldn’t tell fact from fantasy – well I couldn’t tell fantasy from fact! The other thing that strikes me is this “illuminati stuff”. Psychological obsession about Freemasonry. We all had it. My friend got drawn into the conspiracy theories of everything via YouTube. I didn’t have that draw. I had to wean him off that stuff. Like an addiction. Yet both my friend and I had the exact same obsessions. I think that the whole concept is a kind of archetype In the collective shared consciousness. We too had it from multiple perspectives. From wanting to join, to wanting nothing to do with it, to believing you are the true leader of it, to fearing that it knows about you, who you are and will come after you. It’s like the subject takes up a whole dimensional grid on it’s own whilst dealing with this path? Maybe it’s a modern day archetype? 

I also believe that the concept of sexual abuse is in there too. And whether you have been subjected to it or not! It is a highly emotive energy/thing in duality of both the guilt of the perpetrators and victim trauma of the collective consciousness and subconscious of humans. It’s not just our own personal experienced shit from the subconscious we have to take on, process and transcend, but whole frigging worlds! 

Laz 12/03/21:

With respect to the groups who were persecuting me, I boiled it all down in the end to simple evil. There are people who without knowing they are doing evil will perform the devil’s work, and they will collect and conspire and plot and scheme. And this is really what it is, it doesn’t matter if I label them Illuminati or Freemasons or witches, or whatever it’s just the will of evil.

I explained to the mental health shrinks that I was experiencing human archetypes, but they didn’t know or care about that. I’m pleased that you too have experienced the psycho-dramas and understand them. It’s mind blowing to really think that there are things of which I have no experience yet, I can hold knowledge about in a genetic ancestral way! 

I was talking with this spiritual guy in Canada Jaque-francois i think his name is, and i was telling him all this about being tested and having to pick a side, but he dismissed it all and said he didn’t believe in sides! It was frustrating for me as this is central to my experience, am I good or am I bad? I wrote recently about the test which i’m convinced is accurate: http://www.closertogod.net/C2G3/2020/11/17/spirituality/
Passive evil is also real in that people who refuse a test and will not pick a side are by default passively evil, even if they do not claim to be. I thing the source has to be consciously chosen and one cannot sit on the fence 🙂

Jane 11/03/21:

That is what the collective is. It is a whole grid of the matrix. And I am completely unplugged. The topic that I was most passionate about, to the point of obsession, in my thirst for knowledge was human psychology. The only way to truly know others as well as yourself. I guess it has made me a natural in psychoanalyst, lol. It’s my favourite thing. I smiled to myself when I realised that your website to me will be literally like an open book. I will be able to read your mind, so to speak. Because there is so much information on it. The problem being the more access to relevant, truthful, interesting information I have, the more obsessive Source seems to make me about it. I do seem to have developed a keen interest?  I seriously have no control over what I do. I describe humans as robots with no control I have no control either, the difference being that I am not a robot.

Laz12/03/21:

I also love psychology and studying people, I’ve become a bit of a Sherlock Holmes, and psychoanalysis is my bag baby! Love that you do the same 🙂 Have you seen the show Faking it: Tears of a crime? It’s soooo good for this topic.

Very good video, but that’s what a robot would say, right? 😀

Jane12/03/21:

Yes, I was following a scripture that I had no knowledge of. I couldn’t believe it when looking back on my major kundalini experience. The period of no sleep that went on for 40 days and nights. It ended on 6th January 05, the day of epiphany on the Christian calendar. That blew my mind.

I would never want to upset the Christians but I know that Jesus didn’t exist. Like you say it is a mythological story for humans to follow as an example. I studied way back and discovered the same perpetuating story has been told and handed down for eons. I adored Jesus until I transcended him. It was like I was in a relay race, I remember the 2012 Olympics was on, I had statues of Jesus and Buddha in my room. I high fived Jesus as I took the baton and passed him, and it was as if Buddha was smiling at me. I was off onto the “middle path”. 

Now you point it out It makes sense that the general archetype we were dealing with was one of “evil” versus “good”. It struck me too that information that reputable people had “channeled” but not had actual experience of, I had experienced. The thing about channelers is that the information comes from Source but it has to pass through the channels own mind veils and filters, their own beliefs and ego so it takes discernment to evaluate. Without the art of discernment in this you wouldn’t stand a chance to separate truth from falsehood. That was my friends problem. He was getting more trapped into the web of deceit and I could see why. It is a trap designed to hold you back. Of course the ego loves that because it doesn’t want to “die”. 

He told me that it was as if I had taken his hand and told him to shut his eyes then I dragged him through the web. I told him to just trust me and that I knew what I was doing. I studied the esoteric knowledge and was surprised to discover that I actually had become the esoteric knowledge as an example. Only ignorance makes it esoteric. What you experienced was logical to you because every path is so unique and individual. I believe that our own higher self is at work. Your mind will focus on something said for example, on TV, words stand out when reading, it’s like synchronicity is everywhere. The messages just keep on coming from the most unlikely of places. You just have to be vigilant enough to spot it. 

I have been unable to watch films this whole time. My concentration doesn’t hold onto things for long enough. I cannot lose myself in a film because I am aware that it is not real, they are just actors and that kind of spoils the experience. The best I can do is read the synopsis. I had read that very link to your website just before I contacted you. That was how I knew that you had done it on your own : )

Laz 12/03/21:

My life is so full of synchronicity these days that I don’t even react to it anymore, and I just go with it. But calling our reconnection out for a minute, what is it that we are supposed to do together do you think? I have a personal plan on the back burner for the moment, and I wonder if you are somehow involved in that! 

I told the Organisation that I had transcended Gopi Krishna, they were not happy about that. But it is true, like you transcended Jesus.

I’m not sure whether you refer to Faking It as the “film”? It is actually a reality tv series and they spend only about 10 minutes on each case, so you could watch it in chunks easily and like I did mull over the details in my head for hours afterwards 🙂 I’m sure you’d like it. Damn it, I’ve just seen there is a second series I haven’t seen! Have look at this case of Ian Huntley, it’s only 7 minutes long: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3576yTqmZE

Jane 12/03/21:

Oh I thought you meant a fictional film. Yes, I have watched many such documentary’s. Even criminal psychology fascinates me. I needed to know everything that a human being is potentially capable of. It is also the perfect way to verify to yourself, regardless how heinous the crime I do not judge anyone, if anything I have the same compassion for the criminal. I know, weird, right? But of all of humanity, Forgive them for they know not what they do. Judge not, lest you be judged. Do unto others as you would have done to yourself.

It cracks me up that I can sound like some sort of Christian bible basher, the people I used to despise when I was an atheist. But it’s only for a point of reference. As for your question about us, I am not sure.

The attached is referring to cosmic- soul-mates as opposed to karmic soul mates. from the esoteric knowledge. This was written in Victorian times when males and females couldn’t do anything together unless they were married. Cultural bullshit. So, tell me your personal plan. Spill the beans, please : )

Laz 12/03/21:

So for years now I’ve had this idea that we could all use a “personal Jesus” for want of a better phrase. So i’ve been trying to build a digital application that would guide the individual to enlightenment. With my latest job, i’m learning how to program phones so that’s what i’m up to, building an app that you can keep in your pocket and ask questions of as needed. It will respond with the knowledge verbally based on my understanding of enlightenment.

Jane 12/03/21:

That made me laugh. I wrote down in the early days, we need a new bible, for the modern day. Scriptures are too difficult for lower level consciousness to understand.  I mean, I know that was the point of parables. That they were multi level. One simple level for the masses, but could be understood by the disciples on a higher level. I said just that! We needed an up to date version of “Jesus”. I have no idea about your work, software engineering. But I can see how it could be used for mind engineering. 😀 An on call guru in your pocket.

Laz 12/03/21:

That’s the plan at least, but i’m struggling in getting speech recognition to work 🙁

Jane 12/03/21:

Sorry, but that cracked me up! Made me laugh out loud. I told you I see the funny side to everything. 

Laz 12/03/21:

No worries 🙂

Jane 13/03/21:

Ok, I have done my “studying” for today. Still on Came Back haunted . I got to p.53.I didn’t know you were raised in Germany?  Do you speak German well? My friends  family hails from Germany. Lutherians. 

Laz 13/03/21:

Because I lived in an English community and parents never pushed it, alas I do not speak German 🙁

Jane 13/03/21:

I am sorry about the loss of your baby, I had a miscarriage so I can relate. I am actually really surprised at how similar we are and our paths have been for us. You vandalised a teachers car? Lol. So did I. But the fake bomb bit had me in stitches. I feel I need to point something out. I do realise that this may sound a bit odd. I absolutely get how bad this stuff was for you. Plus I went through it with my friend. I know that it was extremely serious at that point in time, I don’t  know if it still bothers you psychologically? Or are you fully detached from it? but I just cannot help laughing as I read it. You seriously crack me up. Maybe you don’t realise just how funny you are? Or is it just to me? I love nothing more than laughing at myself. Maybe I am just recognising the me in you and you in me? I don’t know this shits getting a bit weird again…

Laz 13/03/21:

It’s funny to see those things brought back up, i’ve not thought about them for a while, but each has been put to bed now, with the exception of the lessons they taught. I’m still very much a fighter for the victimised, and my leaning in life is to stand against unjust authority! Although now I think about it, i’m still nervous of publishing real names in my written accounts, that’s one step I haven’t climbed. 

Jane 13/03/21:

The Neo, red bean matrix stuff – as I read the words I got quivers going through me. The Jesus, reborn on Christmas day section did it to me too. Especially about your daughter’s experience. My God Laz it really was that hard fought “battle for the soul as well as the mind” for you too. My friend described it to the psychiatrists as the “war going on inside my head between dark and light” One of his psychoses playing out in the world ended up with him setting fire to his boyfriends house. Due to USA systems he was in jail for 3 months. He was such a sensitive soul that caused P.T.S.D. making my job even harder. Incidentally I am right now recalling how I had made a brief connection to you during his incarceration. I sent you a poem I had written and you had mentioned it as sounding like Gopi Krishna. Apart from the word “fuck” in it. I don’t have a copy of that poem anymore,  I lost it.

The reason he lit the fire?  He believed he was destroying the whole illuminati dimension. I knew that it just needed removing from his mental/psychological realm. But he was in the physical realm/matrix. He was literally living with the masons. The father and two sons. The father going around making it quite clear that he was the “master in chief” when the psychosis hit, he was quite literally a “sitting target”, from his perspective. They were not at home so it wasn’t as serious intention/motives. I made sure he got off through a mental health court system. On probation. Anyway on reaching the end of page 52, and still laughing.

Laz 13/03/21:

I don’t take myself seriously so no need to worry 🙂 I’ve found that being serious is a hilarious game that people play, and when they play that card with me, i can’t help but laugh. It only enrages them further but I can’t help it! 

Yeah, I had it all happen to me, but not as bad as some others so i’m grateful that I came through it, my wife thought i was lost to psychosis, but I always felt I would come back! I still marvel at the decisions I made while under intense anxiety were all the best possible ones. I remember feeling that I was acting upon generations of genetic learning that had not been part of my own learning or experience. I also think that a lot of the things I was perceiving in visions were not my own plights but those of my ancestors, clearly those things didn’t happen and haven’t happened to me. Just wait until you get onto my next written account “The Day The World Went Away!”

Jane 13/03/21:

I am sharing with you something my friend wrote in therapy when asked a question:

Dealing with it all, I had a breakdown and ended up in hospital. My heart was being physically affected. I didn’t think I had it in me to take anymore!  No one was “hearing me” … He was having yet another psychosis. 3,000 miles away. No one understanding him… I just couldn’t cope anymore. But I couldn’t let God down. I had to pull myself together, heal my own heart and go back into that matrix and complete my mission. And I did. I am crying about it all but I know it is for the final time. Maybe by sharing this with you, this is my closure.

Laz 13/03/21:

Thank you for sharing Jane. It was a heartfelt letter that was inspiring to read 🙂 May I ask how he died? If it is too soon, please don’t feel I need an answer to this, i’m just curious.

Jane 13/03/21:

No it’s not too soon. I have completed the grieving process. Thank God I didn’t have the usual things that people with egos have to deal with in that process like anger, guilt, blame. I had absolutely no doubt that Source knew that I had done everything in my power and ability. And I did not reflect blame or judgment onto anyone throughout the whole thing. His sister, having told me I would never get a response to my emails from his family, emailed me to tell me he had passed away because I was his officially registered advocate, she asked me to please not make contact with his parents as they were struggling with the loss!

She knew that I was likely to fire off at them, but I didn’t even respond. As far as I was concerned he was out of the suffering hell of his life and circumstances and it was game over. All apps deleted. He was found unconscious and unresponsive, the medics couldn’t get him back. The post mortem showed that his heart had given out. He was not very healthy and 400 lb. I did struggle at first asking Source to please take the pain away. In the throes of my own grief, I actually felt deep compassion for his family because I know that their ego’s were going to have a hard time with it all, their subconscious minds would make sure of that.

I mean for fucks sake, they disowned him and he was their son! It took the psych Professor to shame them into visiting him just the once. His mother said well hurry up and get better and come back to us! His father said you know it would cost money to help you! They were well off financially. It just reiterated the conditions to him and lack of love. I know for a fact that the correspondences I had sent to them over the years, would have haunted their minds. I did not hold back. He was so concerned about them never “waking up”, he said to me what will it take? Do I have to commit suicide before my own parents can see that I even, ever existed? 

He also told me that his parents were not going to know what hit them. He knew that what goes around,  comes around. Source told me to give it 8 weeks. I did, then I contacted you. I felt it lift in that moment. I am fine about it now, it almost seems like it wasn’t real. That’s how things always feel to me after the test is over. If I didn’t have the tangible evidence I would question did it even happen. If I didn’t keep a diary, that’s how my whole life would feel. I am curious about everything.  My friend used to joke about it and the questions I would ask. 

Laz 13/03/21:

Thank you, and once again i’m sorry to read all of the story surrounding it  🙁

Jane 14/03/21:

I know there is a gender issue in the collective. The battle of the sexes is being played out in the world as well as within each individual. Until you balance your own energies there will be a battle within yourself. We hear things like… “Typical woman” ” all men are the same”  it works both ways. Both genders are as bad as each other. The esoteric teachings I studied was from a century ago and they knew that to have balance and power in an organisation you had to have equal numbers and status of males and females. Both working in cooperation if it was to be successful.

Laz 15/03/21:

Watching the world tear itself apart in slow motion is not nice, and one of those tears is the equality of the sexes, and really shows what assholes we are as a species. I mean women’s sport has been happy to extend the hand of equality to trans individuals, to it’s absolute destruction. On the flip side men who cannot compete in men’s sports have seen this as a route to winning. It’s insane to see how far people will go to “win” and once again highlights the narcissist vs empathic mindset in terrible realisation such that the the wheel has turned 360 degrees and now natural born men are being banned from competing against competing with natural born women. It’s such as shame though that the records set by trans athletes will be stuck as an unobtainable goal, thus further knocking future women. 

Jane 15/03/21:

Also, It was only by having a genuinely divine enlightened being in an organisation that kept the divine flame lit at the alter. That is where it got it’s power. Without that light, the flame went out. Obvious where the masons went wrong. I studied magic. it’s paganism and not much different to Christianity if it is white. but there is black and white, as with everything in this dualistic world. What man can “use”, he will “abuse”. 

I’ve never heard the term “mangina” but the whole thing had me in hysterics. I had the experience where I literally felt like I had a penis. I could hold it in my hand. It only happened the once but that was a fun novel sensation I can tell you 🙂 I also had one of those…”what would you unconditionally accept?” Psychodramas going on about being with a man, would I accept it if he didn’t have a penis? My immediate response was I wouldn’t give a shit! I don’t need one to get pleasure 🙂 Your poor wife, she must have been so concerned but you played a blinder with that first doctors appointment.  Expertly done and expertly deflected. I can quite clearly see how you were dealing with a multidimensional realm situation. Very well, I might add. But looking at the big picture I did feel for Ali. Bless her. She must really love you. You were lucky to have her.

Laz 15/03/21:

I am lucky 🙂 You are correct that we must unify our male and female sides and my fear of my penis being cut off was this unification beginning in me. I feel balance and calm these days, but am glad it was just a metaphor and not a reality, like those poor religious souls that experience this expression of the universe and follow through with it themselves! 

Jane 15/03/21:

I think you have to reach that mental place of absolute torture, despair, desperation and on the line of insanity within us. I remember when I had reached a similar situation, and the frustration of being bedbound and “autistic”, I didn’t believe in a God and I looked up and silently screamed….for all my life was worth…”BEAM ME UP SCOTTY, GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! ” and I was, gone to this matrix world. I surrendered. My higher Self took over and lead me to becoming a born again Christian too. The concept of higher alien beings was my first stage I went through because my mind had no concept of religion. I thought it was aliens that were contacting me. There is a lot of literature on it. When I did transcend I honestly was waiting for the aliens to take me.

I know now this “higher alien being” was my own higher Self. When I finally got round to reading my first bible, I read only the red words ( those supposedly spoken by Jesus) and only the black words around them to put the red ones into context. I was surprised to discover that they are actually the universal laws. The lost gospels, later discovered contained female disciple works but of course the founding fathers of that church were not having them included. They even blamed Eve for the downfall! This is the problem with this world of duality. But we can only be born with one side/gender or the other in our physical being. 

My experience occurred over the Christmas period too. I experienced the virgin Mary stuff and immaculate conception. I was sterilized at 24, but that fact couldn’t convince me that I wasn’t pregnant. I also had a strong need to anoint my head with oil. A lot of crazy shit! Like you say the ancestral archetypes stuff. I brought my dog back to life when she died, and I put a stone cold dead spider in the palm of my hand and it stood up and walked. I had many psychic experiences but I know that these were shiddis. A temptation for the ego. We have to give these gifts up to our higher Self. This is one of the traps in the web. I mean if people want to use these skills for fame or fortune then that’s ok but that is where there path will end for them. The higher Self can use them but only if it be Sources will.

My hubby had lung cancer and a heart attack and both times I was tested to see if I would use self will. That would have been psychological emotional torture for me had I not already given it up. 

Laz 15/03/21:

I’m very sorry to read about your husband’s health issues, and that must have been hard on you too, on top of spiritual issues too 🙁

Jane 15/03/21:

I told my family once something I was experiencing, by the looks on their faces I knew to keep it zipped! I feared they may get me sectioned. It was easier for me because I was alone and wasn’t dealing with the world. People around me have been oblivious to it all. Apart from the changes in my perspective. I thought I was mentally strong but you blow me away with your experiences. I don’t know how you didn’t crack! 

My friend had the psychic visions, but not as intense as you. Were you ever in that state of being both experiencer and yet detached observer similtaneously? 

Laz 15/03/21:

I am trying to remember if I have experienced being both experiencer and yet detached observer, but I can’t think that I have. There’s my visions which come close’ish but I know what you mean and I cannot honestly say that I’ve had that experience. My experience has always been in the first person and generally without separation.

Jane 15/03/21:

We had the 11:11 thing too but it was to do with the clock. Synchronicity with the time. When my friend was in jail I had to go on antidepressants to cope, I had no idea if I would see him again. He could have been sentenced to years? It was the weirdest experience because I don’t have a lower self, the drugs shut off my higher realm (to my Higher Self) and I literally felt like I no longer existed. I was just a “nothing”. I had no mind at all. I soon stopped taking them. 

Sometimes when I get energy I do that circuit thing. Feet together and hand touching my body, to form a closed circuit. It’s like I am a torch, my chakra system is batteries and what I presume is my pineal is the bulb. My head lights up. The brain is both receiver and transmitter. I have to stop all thoughts going out and open to receive and it’s like a download of the language of light. I guess its direct communion with Source?

Laz 15/03/21:

I’m very pleased to read that you wrote about the brain being receiver and transmitter, this is one area of my learning that i cannot verify not matter how real it seems. I feel i have communicated with ascended masters, passed family members, aliens, and “spirits” using Kundalini but when i challenge others to communicate with me, they suddenly stop being a complete spiritual being and shrink away for further communication in the ordinary sense. It’s almost become like a James Randy prize for me to use against frauds, and I’ve found some quite prominent frauds in the world!

Jane 15/03/21:

I have not had experience of the earth’s sun for 19 years, my curtains are always closed, I cannot stand direct sunlight. It’s as if it is no longer my energy source, Source is and I get that from within. Sometimes I wake up to burning hands and feet and I am vibrating until my mind is fully awake back in this realm. Since I reconnected to you I have noticed that I am having a job grounding myself. I mean that’s nothing new but it has gotten worse. I felt I had got my mind back when I deleted all apps and recovered from my grief. My conscious awareness has changed. It’s in a different realm again. Seems to have its own agenda. It’s difficult to explain.

I suppose it’s because with all apps closed I have lost that connection that I was dealing with to the matrix. It’s like a gravitational pull that has gone. It was a portal through my tablet! When people talk to me it’s like I’m just not here…. they usually get the message and leave. I cannot focus unless I am left alone in my own flow. It kind of feels like I am acclimatising again? I have completely left the matrix again. I mean thank fuck for that, but it’s not a particularly comfortable feeling at the moment. I keep feeling really dizzy. I think maybe i need to slow my brainwaves down a bit. Maybe they are just too fast for the realm I am in? 

I remember as I was coming back down to do my mission, I had gears in my head alternating between 3 speeds going on, over a period of time, speeding them back up. They had to to function. My diaries would probably sound absolutely crazy.

Laz 15/03/21:

Thank you Jane, your words are soothing to me. I don’t think i’ve ever met someone that could validate my experience as you can, and i’ve largely dismissed the alternate experiences of others as the lies of a spiritual cheat. Yet here you are saying that you regonise my crazy as your own too. This very unique and I’m so glad we have reconnected. You say my discussion with you has started things again for you, and i can honestly say i feel like i’ve found an oasis in the desert with you, again. Acclimatising again is a nice way to put it, and this is a welcome return for me too 🙂
Actually do you know of anyone else who has travelled this path?

Jane 15/03/21:

No I don’t know of anyone else who has travelled this path or had these experiences. The closest I could find too was the ecstasy of the saints. I hit a ceiling on genuine information when I recognised that if it had been done before, it wasn’t being shared. I see information as being 3D, 4D or 5D and the 5D stuff was mainly channeled, not experienced. 

I also think that religious beliefs limit people and this was as true for the saints as the likes of Gopi Krishna. They are unable to think outside of the box. And outside of the box is where it’s all going on 🙂 The esoteric teachings talk about it but don’t use the term kundalini, just refer to it as a type of electricity. I view the world like a satellite, observing from a distance. Do you not think that the whole world is in some sort of mass psychosis?  It is absolutely absurd in fact so much so I just laugh my arse off at it all. 

Laz 15/03/21:

Totally 🙂 The first step in anyone’s life is to realise this, and its the “waking up” or seeing the Matrix for what it is. Kundalini has to be something like level 2, and that brings this sense of oneness with everything, loss of fear of death, the spiritual connection to the source, Siddhis, etc. I’m now looking for stage 3, while feeling the need to help those not awake at all, and to discuss with other experiencers.

Jane 15/03/21:

What I am noticing lately. I have lost all interest in the world again. I used to keep up to date with everything,  especially what was going on in the US. I had to keep an overall big picture of what I was dealing with, and the implications of things. even politically. I was always noticing the £ to $ exchange rates, and difference in time zones. It’s really been a bit like playing a game in the matrix, through apps on my tablet. I cannot focus my mind or awareness on anything, I can’t watch tv or read trivial stuff. It is such a dramatic change. I suppose I just have to get used to it again 🙂

Jane 17/03/21:

I just finished “came back haunted” and the best movie writers couldn’t have made that up from imagination. That is truly and inspiringly unique from one crazy to another. I guess it’s TRUE that “it takes one to know one” 🙂 I got tears in my eyes and the shivers at the ” I forgive you” to banish the dark. Incidentally, my middle name is Mary. I was born on Halloween 🙂 I didn’t realise that Laz is a reference to Lazarus. 

“Run” by Leona Lewis was one of the tracks on my path playlist. The other thing that struck me was that my friend developed a really bad, painful ear infection and he told me that it must be because he wasn’t “listening” to me. I did not relate it at the time myself. 

I also believe that we are living in a hologram, I only just grasp the concept but can you please explain to me more of your understanding of it. And can you send me the link to “the day the world went away” please, I’m not good at finding stuff on websites.

Laz 17/03/21:

Thank you Jane Mary 🙂 synchronicities are particularly strong with us!

So as I remember Stephen Hawking describing it, we are consciousness outside of the universe, but we both create the 3d universe and project ourselves into it. It’s a lot like Neo in his pod being plugged into the Matrix from the outside. The idea is that we can create anything within the hologram and when it ends, we are still existing as a consciousness outside of it. In a sense we are ghosts without form or bodies and the only ones we have are simulated. One of the reasons I reached out to that science writer was that her theory on the holographic universe contains the idea that our universe grows through the discovery of new information, and not through big bang expansion.