So I’ve been having a run of bad luck; from car trouble, to health issues, and to making mistakes at work. and I was feeling pretty low, and kind of like I was cursed. I was aware of this new trend on the internet for Methylene Blue, and I thought “why not?”.
So I bought some Pharmaceutical grade USP Methylene Blue to try, thinking that it may be able to help me, but I didn’t have much hope and was skeptical of it’s use. So I started taking it, one drop a day, and at first it had a positive effect. i felt the energy and it seemed to brighten me and improve my mood, and I even felt like it was helping my health improve back to a normal level. So all seemed well.
Then after taking it for 4 days I started getting negative effects outweighing the positive ones. I was getting real foggy in the head, like I couldn’t think straight and my short term memory was shot. I also felt so tired and heavy. As another blow I started getting pain in my right arm and a tight chest. This was not good at all I thought, but this wasn’t the worst thing. Next came the anxiety, crippling anxiety during the day, and then worse at night to the point i couldn’t sleep for worrying about little things.
Now I’ve had some experience here before and I knew the only way to get through it was simply to sit it out, and that is what I did, I told myself that I knew this pattern, that I had been here before and I would get through this as before. I tried square breathing but to no avail. During this my bedroom curtain was open a crack and it was a still clear night outside. The moon was full and bright and it bored into my soul with it’s white stare. It was like the eye of Sauron was keeping watch over me. It was horrible and I tried to reassure myself that this would pass in time and that my concerns were not warranted. I pulled the curtain closed and eventually I was able to calm myself and fall back asleep, but that wasn’t a lot of fun.
So today came and I spent the morning working, to rectify one of the mistakes I made at work. Then I took my dog for a walk. I was listening to yesterday’s episode of Infowars during the walk and in the third hour a very weird thing happened. I’ve not had a Kundalini surge now for like 6 months, but here I was getting one, a big one, no a huge one! I asked who it was that was contacting me and got nothing. I asked again and still nothing but a vague teasing.
Alex was talking about the exorcist movie during an interview with Mary Flynn O’Neill and it made me think of Pazuzu from the movie, and again I sensed this teasing. I asked out loud “Who is it? Is that you Azazel?” and I got a large confirmation Kundalini surge in response. “Kevin!” I thought. “What do you want?” I asked again and got a kind of coy response that made me feel that I had been tested again and that the Methylene Blue had been the entry point into this examination of my person from beyond.
Alex was then telling of experiences he had where people around him were all speaking the same evil phrases to him although they were different individuals in differing places. He was telling how this reminded him of Agent Smith in the Matrix movies, and I was like “No, for a better example you need to watch Fallen” which has a far greater telling of this phenomenon, or speak about the concept of Walk-ins even!
I asked again “What do you want Azazel?” and I got a response to simply listen to the interview. I was somewhat confused and started to question why Azazel was messing with me again, and why now? I was again compelled to “Just listen” to the interview being played in my ear and while my brain was turning circles trying to think if I had done anything wrong and instead deciding that the opposite had been the case, I heard through my headphones that Mary’s daughter had had an episode following Reiki practice and had been psychotic for a period, and not only was Yoga labelled occult and bad, but they started talking about Kundalini! I was taken back by the synchronicity of this with my own Kundalini surges moments before, this is why I had been told to listen. So in their Christian way they continued to bash anything other than their religion, and my thoughts turned to how small minded this was and as I was thinking this was all protectionist nonsense by one group, I hear Mary loudly call out “Kundalini, KUNDALINI” and I’m now standing still listening as my dog runs about before me the field we are in.
So the shape of this moment appeared in my mind as follows: I am having a Kundalini experience while I’m listening to a radio interview bashing Kundalini, and I have in my senses f’ing Azazel messing with me again! What is this all about? I felt strongly that the both the interviewer and the interviewee were wrong, and also that I had sight beyond religion to an underlying truth which was greater. Azazel was here, for some reason, and I had just uncovered a clue to my predicament at this time. I know that Yoga and Kundalini are not evil, I have questions for Azazel though.
“You are the bringer of forbidden technology to man” I call out to him, “What are you going to do, help me with my work?”
I get no answer so I speak again “What are you doing here? Why are you testing me?” I simply get the negative void-like Kundalini experience, like a “no” response,
However I also sense being laughed at from beyond. I know that this is incorrect and I’m just being toyed with, I’ve done everything correctly and my recent run of bad luck is not of my own doing and is undeserved, it is not something I have brought upon myself.
“Give me something to go on?” I call out again to Azazel, “You’ve been with me for over 10 years now, give me some sort of sign, or knowledge, or skill to help!” Nothing, no response.
Alex and Mary are bashing these practices as a cult and for bringing negativity to people who will fall and falter in the face of such tests, and I’m thinking that they are so wrong. Someone who is good and doesn’t cave to evil has nothing to fear from any “test”, no matter how arduous. One doesn’t need to be Christian to know the difference between good and evil, and Satanism is clearly still part of the Christian cult itself, so there! I’m outside of all of that.
I am then struck with two things, The Pazazu in the exorcist is Azazel by another name (need to research this) and also that I have just passed another test, again. The Kundalini surges fade away along with the presence of Azazel and I’m left with this sense that something significant has passed, that this phase is over.
I continue my walk and put my dog on the lead for the remainder of journey home. I consider myself lucky, once again. Lucky to know that the way out is through these experiences, to not panic, that Methylene Blue is a gateway drug to Kundalini, and that persistence is victory. I have done nothing wrong and once again the universe tested me but ultimately it had my back and I passed another test of my integrity.
What then of my use of this gateway drug? I’m considering it now as I write. I don’t like the effect it has in me but it is a new route to more Kundalini experiences. Whether I choose to stop taking it altogether now or maybe take a break I don’t know. I want more Kundalini growth and have been starved of it for so long now, but also I know that I have been having a run of bad luck that stretches back beyond my even considering taking any Methylene Blue, and that I sense this period is now over.
Hmmmm…