Something feels off, not normal, like a spiritual visitor knocking at my door and wanting to come in. I try to control my breathing so that I am calm and relaxed, and prepared for what is coming. After a little while I feel the heat in my system build and I realise that my t-shirt is damp with sweat. I begin to shake a little in anticipation of what is stepping through the open spiritual door. I am also alert to the slightest sound in the room and I feel like I could hear a woodlouse scuttle across the floor at the far end of the room. My eyes are scanning around, looking for something unseen, so I close them. Then as I begin to calm once again I have the feeling that I have opened myself to something that is elderly and historic like an Eldritch terror, yet familiar like a smell from childhood.
I begin to sense a void appearing at the base of my spine, a tiny zero point of radiation forming, a giant universe inside the space of a pinhead. It is full of personalities, souls, spirits! and I shiver some more in preparation. However it is not a shiver due to cold, I am boiling up and instead it is a spiritual shiver, like a preparation for something. It is a slight shaking the likes of which suggests that it has conscious energy, a potential for something terribly good, or terribly bad.
With my eyes closed I roll my eyeballs to the roof of my eye sockets and I call out mentally for guides to assist me. Ascended masters who can afford me their help and live guides that can aid me are wished for. With this call made I dare not open my eyes for fear of losing this experience and I wait like devoted dog sitting in his masters absence. A new feeling begins on the surface of my skin and it begins to draw inwards towards my core, towards the void. It is subtle and I am reminded of both Japanese animation and how they represent the spiritual energy ki in their manga drawings. It is like lines of some tiny force are being pulled into my hip area with increasing speed and frequency. The building energy seemingly forms a small bubble near my coccyx and it grows slowly with these narrow lines of ki arriving from all over my body to resemble something like a small swirling hadouken, and I feel a pregnant pause before the main event, like a holding of my breath, or a suspension of thought.
A quick sensation of the same energy descending from my pineal gland downwards into my spine like a scout is felt, before RUSH!
Waves of energy shoot from the base of my spine upwards to meet it, and my body seems to vibrate with their dispersal through it. The spiritual energy travels quickly up the length of my back bone, carried and assisted by my spinal fluid until it reaches my skull. I breathe out heavily and have to replace the lost air with an equally sized inhalation. My spine begins to pulse with repeated waves of energy that principally shoot upwards, but also radiate outwards from every bone segment in my spine, and these pulses increase in intensity and frequency. I feel lost for words and am in awe of this hidden possibility in the human animal. Soon my body is racing with luscious energy emanating from the subtle Muladhara, over and over. It becomes so overwhelming that I feel I have to breathe consciously to try and stop it overcoming me entirely. I could most accurately describe the surges as a powerful shiver like sensation concentrated on the spine and they seem to follow the deep nerve pathways outwards too into the rest of my body. It is not an electric current, and is more correctly a vibration, and what a feeling! It is like 1000 orgasms all at once and lasting minutes at a time and I am in heaven. The thought occurs to me to again call upon all of the good people I know of to help me, so I call out to the people I admire for their spirit, both alive and dead.
A new surge of Kundalini Shakti brings with it a powerful emotional content that is both scary and euphoric. It is the essence of life itself. The hidden force breaks out of my head and the emanations spread outwards from my skull like a hemisphere of god energy. This is the feeling of a halo like saints of old would have had painted. It is not a two dimensional circle, but we can surely forgive the painters back in the day for not understanding how to paint in the 3rd dimension. The fine fingers of this gushing waterfall reach out about a foot from my head in all directions and then fade into the atmosphere. There is no visual component to this power as it throbs and projects from my base to my crown, but it brings with it ultimate bliss and love of my creator. The spiritual vibrations happen so fast and with such gusto that tears roll down my cheeks due to the awesome power that is running through me.
I again thank everyone for contributing to my transmission and it is hard to judge the time passing or measure the position of my body any more. I am both alive and dead, the beginning and the end, the alpha and omega, separation and union. It is so wonderful! I sob and moan at the astounding existence of human consciousness and this amazing ability. It is unlike anything I have ever felt before in life and it is a feeling beyond love of any mother or the highs of any drug. Again and again and again it goes on. It is so very addictive that I want more and more and don’t ever want it to stop now it has begun. If I could have this feeling forever I would, but I know that this is a trap and this experience should not be coveted.
At some point, I don’t know how much later, the surging feelings start to die back and the intensity and frequency of the waves of energy lessen with every pulse until I am again shrunk back and just lying on the bed in safety and security. I take a few deep breaths and compose my thoughts, I already crave it again like some drug addicted hapless wretch.
I think the most addictive part, beyond the sensations and the bliss state, is the unconditional love coming at me from somewhere out there (god/source) and this is the craving, it is a love more encompassing and fulfilling than a mother or a partners love. It is the most unexpected part, in that no matter what i’ve done, or what I will do, the universe loves me without question and I could never upset it. It will never be angry and resist me, it will never forsake me, it is like a mirror reflecting its reflection in an infinite recursion, and it makes me strong such that I know I can make it through anything.
Who wouldn’t want to feel that all the time, when the daily world is so full of hate and pain?
I am left with a question, it is a simple one and yet so unanswerable that I don’t know that I will ever find an answer. It is simply “Why me?”. Why have I been chosen to receive this blessing, what have I done to deserve it when there are billions of people out there that will never experience it? I’m sure those people are far more worthy than I, and have lead better lives than me that should be rewarded. “Why me?” is an enigma like where did we all come from, or how big is the multiverse, easy to state but impossible to answer. So, I must just accept it and get on with things.