I never thought much of psychic predictions of the future, until I had one and boy was it a big one. People have predicted the end of the world for millennia without much success and I had thought that the “end of the world” would be a fiery crater. However in reality it turned out to be much more civil. Back in 2013 I had a premonition and wrote in length about it here: http://www.closertogod.net/thoughts/NewMindBody/CameBackHaunted.htm
In short the premonition was that when I bought an extension for our house, the world would end and that would be it for me. I wrote:
‘Dagney and I have spoken about an extension, do you think that would suffice.’
I was growing the opinion that my sin against the Illuminati had to be paid for and the mechanism would be in bricks and mortar.
I did nothing to assuage the people I was in contact with, and the evil that spoke through them. Later in 2015 and in an unpublished work (which I must finish) I wrote:
What this means is that Andy had been giving me a hint that there was something which I hadn’t done and now it is too late. I’m a bit unclear on what exactly I am supposed to have done by my birthday but clearly I haven’t done it. Was it building an extension on my house, was it joining the Freemasons, maybe it was both? In any case I have not done these things and now it is just academic.
Afterwards I was split in two. On one half I had successfully resisted evil and had not done as it wanted, this was a relief and clearly I had come to no harm as a result. On the other half I was shit scared of the inevitable consequences of disobedience and simply waiting for my punishment, and any mention of an extension by family and friends sent me into throws of anguish, a mixture of shame and guilt, and stubbornness that no extension should be built or there would be dire consequences for me.
For the next 4 years I recoiled at any mention of an extension and I openly washed my hands of it at any mention, I made reasonable excuses for not being able to afford it, and for how it would just be another room to clutter up. But the persistence of my wife surprised me.
On the 4th March 2020 a contract was signed by her for a lean to conservatory kit that I relented upon because it was all her money that was being spent. I was super nervous of this eventuality and did not sleep well for a few nights, worrying now about the ramifications of doing as evil had been waiting for me to do. My get out clause was that it was not me designing it, or planning it, or buying it. But the worry persisted, I was still involved. I had not resisted.
From the age of eleven I’ve had a reoccurring dream about walking through a burnt out and blackened broken urban landscape, clothes in tatters and skin fresh with heat damage to the tissue. There is no plot to my dream, but there is a feeling of loss and of hopelessness. In this dream it is the end of the world and for some reason I have survived it and wonder alone looking fruitlessly for other survivors from a sort of Terminator future and post nuclear event. I now felt this future knocking on my door.
On the 9th March 2020 my young daughter got Covid-19 and we had to isolate with her. We all probably got it but it was not bad for any of us. However my mind turned from an already troubled state to that of synchronicity. This was it, this Coronavirus was the evil that had been kept at bay by my resistance to honour a promise that was broken, that I had broken. I had broken it for good reason, and knew that this trigger would set things in motion around me. Even if this was not the end of the world, it was the end of my world.
Not surprisingly I sailed through the lockdown, then furlough, and when I was told that I had lost my job I simply said “okay”. I set to work on the conservatory kit myself and built that infernal structure. I was reaping what I had sowed and I was doing the work for no reason other than there was work there to be done. All around me people were losing their livelihoods, their health and even their lives. However I was now a builder, and I plowed on with an abandon and a calmness that I hadn’t expected. I guess I had waited for so long, and thought so much about this event that it became a non event, and I was simply riding this wave to the beach. I had become a carpenter, a brickie, an electrician, and a decorator. All of these skills innate in me came out to complete the work by the end of the summer. My wife was happy. I felt numb.
For all of my concern, I actually have had it easy, and it turned out that the end of my world (as it was) lead synchronistically to a new world. I have started a new job working from home, in my old skill as a programmer, a great reset of my own. I’ve not skipped on any bills, I can afford to keep a good standard of living, even indulging in a few luxuries. The end that I feared, was not the end I faced. The debt is paid, and all is square in my new world. The lockdowns roll on, but for me at least I have no fear of illness or of loss.