Mum’s death didn’t feel like i expected it to, It’s not like the stories you know.
I have an acceptance but also a disbelief that it is even possible, Losing mum is like water suddenly disappearing from the planet
It’s just not conceivable to me even though I know it is real, the overwhelming feeling is one of how unfair it is for her
Can we have a do-over? I wasn’t ready for it to be this way!
I occasionally find myself thinking “I wonder what mum will think of such and such”, but then i catch myself falling like in a dream as I recall the reality
I know if I love you I have to let you go, but it’s hard, you literally grew me from nothing into a living spiritual being
Yet you died just like an animal, nothing “special” about you at all, if you were ultimately nothing to the universe, then I must also be nothing
The only thing I can fall back on is the timeframe i’m looking at, in the scope of the ancient universe anything is possible
Patterns formed and unformed, may form once again in the distant future!
They say it was impossible in the first place, so it is mathematically more likely to happen again now
For now mum lives on my head, as real as ever, as if she were just at home, waiting for me to call
Meanwhile the world keeps on rotating like a tire of a Tesla 18-wheeler crushing your skull as it’s AI dispassionately runs you over