Jane 01/04/21:

Wow! That’s intense shit. So intense I had to read it in sections, several times. I love the pictorial images you have added. Your writing always flows, so beautifully descriptive. The difference between us I think? You are a true author of expressive writing. That read was fascinating. It’s more fascinating for me from my unique perspective because I know the author personally. It kinda carries me away. lol. I’m not just reading, I am “listening” with interest. I am attempting to experience it as I listen. It’s part of my mind data I guess? 

I used to be a stickler for writing absolutely everything down But for some reason, think it was the non ordinary reality “psychosis aspect” I didn’t write a thing during those 40 days, I could have kicked myself when 10 years later, I found out Kundalini was even a thing. I accepted the craziness but didn’t have a clue that anything had even “happened” ……I had even stopped counting the days I had gone without sleep…zombified. lol 

Following my experience, I was immediately taken over, like not let’s just give me a second, a pause, to let this sink in here that I was just “born again” , no no no, I was “taken over” immediately/simultaneously by my own higher alien and rocketed onto the Buddha path with the aim it now apparently seems to becoming non-duality. Embody both Christ and Buddha. fucking escape! 🚀🚀🚀

That was paradigm shifting enough, but then seriously Laz, I went beyond even that! I seriously have had no choice in any of this since the day I gave up my self will for sources will. That was what truly set me free! I think I saw even that myth of a female breaking away from Buddha is in stuff you sent me? I have no known on earth “beliefs” or references to go by anymore. On reflection I wonder if that no sleep aspect was to stop my mind from “processing” anything? 

Because we process the physical and mental day on all levels in our sleep, that’s why it is vital for the health cycle of human life. To this day I can say that since then nothing really “sinks in” to my consciousness, especially if it is about me. I think it’s because I am virtually invisible, i.e: I don’t feel I am really “here” (space-time location…the matrix….)  Sometimes I wonder if I even exist?  Not in a negative way. I like it like that.  Lol

Jesus “showed” salvation. Buddha “showed” enlightenment.  D. Hawkins teaching. I have noticed how unfamiliar I am with some of the terminology you use. I presume it is the yogic/eastern text that you learned your path by and speak. Ok questions time….Lol When did this happen exactly? what were the circumstances?  Was there a build up you now notice? 

Like I’d no idea what the fuck was going on with mine but I remember it happened towards the end of my 40 days awake. How long did the whole episode last? Did you ever get a repeat experience?  

I had that hot piercing through the top of the skull, (actually thought my hair was in flame lol) But never experienced anything like that again, it was like a spark plug I suppose. After that I saw a light inside my head. It triggered the pineal gland? So in answer to your question of “was I connecting with the ascended masters?” Was it real? I can say the answer to that is still YES.

The “archetypal concept” energy that you believed it to be. I fucking loved my “ascended masters” I can’t recall them all now.. lol. gone from my mind. In your emotions you were obviously preparing yourself for whatever was to come… were you anticipating being confronted by something dark or something light or both Simultaneously? You seemed to be experiencing the polarised opposites but in a balanced way.

Pleasure/pain. Fear/terror. Where in your path did this event occur, was this before or after you met “Kevin”? Was this the actual point in time/event, where you lost your base ego? When I reflect back on it all, that was the event for me. You end by saying you craved it again? Do you still have that craving? Or has it dissipated? This was a whole experience of writing so what specific part/s of it do you crave?

When you say about it being “addictive” …once that kundalini is activated,  I described it as feeling you are obsessed and possessed by something. Knowing source is the origin of the energy. I realised long ago that true unconditional real source love energy is THE ULTIMATE ADDICTION! How could it not be? What better and purer harmless thing to be addicted to? God’s jukebox playing…lol.

It’s not very often you get to read something that you know has no energy of hypocrisy because the author practices what they fucking preach! I have NEVER come across that before in anyone! Because even the fucking Pope cannot do that! Lmfao. 

Laz 01/04/21:

So this writing is me looking back on an experience that was early on in my journey maybe 2015, I didn’t write about it at the time, although it may be in my notes for my unwritten account. I have hammed it up a bit to try and emphasize and underline some of the less spoken about aspects of the Kundalini experience and to make it whole. So often I have seen people simply write “and then my third chakra opened and I felt the snake rise to my fourth chakra, and then my fifth had a blockage that was removed” and it’s like the dullest account and misses the emotion as they seem to thing we are mechanical cogs turning, and to be completely honest when I read these “self assembly instructions” I begin to doubt their truthfulness. 

I have amalgamated some of my other writing into this description where I thought I had captured the essence correctly so you will find bits of my other documented experiences in this one, if you were to look so it’s not 100% new.

Reading it back it is a little cringey to me this morning, perhaps I’ve gone to far with some embellishments.

As to how often an experience would happen, there were three major occurrences of my awakening, with each being more complete, and that lasted three years although it was 3 spikes in an otherwise “normal” year. I kind of got a handle on what was happening to me by the end and what it was all about. After that the experience either calmed, or I got used to it, or recently I’ve been looking at it like I was filled up to the brim, and thus further K surges were not as impressive. 

I think the most addictive part, beyond the sensations and the bliss state, was the unconditional love coming at me from somewhere out there (god/source) and this was the craving, it was a love more encompassing and fulfilling than a mother or a partner’s love. It was and is the most unexpected part, in that no matter what I’ve done, or what I will do, the universe loves me without question and I could never upset it. It will never be angry and resist me, it will never forsake me, it is like a mirror reflecting its reflection in an infinite recursion and it makes me strong such that I know I can make it through anything. Actually in going through hardships may make the love stronger. It is like that idea of being a baby held in your mothers arms, but multiplied by 1000’s. Who wouldn’t want to feel that all the time, when the daily world is so full of hate and pain.

Jane 01/04/21:

This made me laugh. No it’s not cringey at all 🙂 I sometimes wake up the morning after I have been doing my thing and sent emails out…I can feel a bit like that too. At first I think  “wtf did I do or say?” lol. But I really don’t feel I have control so I just accept and allow.

Do you think that maybe even that “divine love” is felt/perceived different depending on the minds? From what I have read the female saints who experienced it perceived it as a “male” energy. They describe it as erotic. But of course they are in a mindset that is imbalanced due to their religious dogma. Men seem to experience the energy and sensation as motherly female. Maybe again it takes on the shape through the mind of what the individual “needs” to feel that unconditional love? 

I just woke up from a dream. In it, I knew that a “mind connection” has been made. It was just a quick moment where two minds were facing each other and the “contact” between the two was there? I dunno?  Lol. I just go with the flow……Morning. 

Laz 01/04/21:

Nothing this end, i’m sorry.

With respect to the sex of love. I would not say that the divine is female, and it was simply “love”. The reason I relate to a mother’s love to describe it is because that has been the strongest force of love in my daily life, but that is personal to me and not a universal truth.

Laz Writing