Today has been horrible for me, full of frustration and little progress, but the worst part of the day has been these signs that I keep seeing which indicate to me that my current state is something that I wanted. Now I cannot relate to this, as the messages are all negative and I sense a ruse. Yet I cannot deny the feelings I have been having and that the universe is again communicating with me.
It started this morning with my discovery of the NIN Broken movie, which I had not previously heard of. Of Course I have the EP and know the songs, but the movie was previously unknown to me. One of the songs (Gave Up) in that movie features the line “I tried, and I gave up” which seems very poignant and relevant.
Later more signs came with the release of the new Linkin Park song; Heavy Is The Crown, I listened to this track and It is exactly about my state of mind today.
Then I saw an image someone had posted on social media of this:
In the late afternoon I felt just terrible for my country being the laughing stock after our idiot Prime Minister made an arse of himself at the Labour Party Conference, asking for sausages to be released from Gaza. It made me sink lower at the absolute state of things.
I’ve found that I was being told through signs today that I had asked for this life and more particularly this experience in life today, and because it was currently bad I was to give up. But here’s the thing, I don’t remember asking for this experience either in life or before it. While I can accept this as a possibility it is not corroborated by my prior experience, and as such I am doubtful.
I get the tortured poet life choice, and have perhaps toyed with it in the past, but these signs do not feel genuine today. Like they are being forced upon me, perhaps as a mechanism to make me surrender while things are tough?
I have been drawn this evening to the old movie Prophecy 3, and having watched the prior ones this is new to me. It starts with the death of the chosen one of mankind, and of people bemoaning that it has happened. So all in all the messages of today are clear, but something’s still off about it.
It feels to me that I am being given false messages by some phony messenger, but I don’t know who. I have never thought that my lot in life was to suffer, and I doubt that I would have picked this “mission” on planet earth for myself but I have taken the decision to continue regardless. What is one day and one batch of bad universal messages!
It shouldn’t spoil my week, right?