Jane 03/05/21:

I have been watching your video again and considering yours, my friend’s and my experiences. Due to kundalini energy we all had similar “psychotic” experiences. The difference for me was that I had already left the world and was isolated so it was easier to manage and hide from others. We even had the same archetypes to deal with. Btw: the question of criminal activity as in my friend’s case, can point to a diagnosis of “personality disorders” where psychosis also occurs. In my friend’s case as a diagnostic process I was counting on it. Lol. 

I had access to my friend’s medical records and when he attended appointments alone I would sometimes get him to record them. The reports that followed never corresponded to the recorded information. There is a portal that I used to communicate with his doctors so I made the point on several occasions that he was not being “listened” to or understood as to me there was obvious selective hearing going on. Of course I could not admit the recorded evidence because I don’t know how the law stands on that in the USA.

He was always very honest but when he explained it as a spiritual thing or mentioned Christ consciousness or Kundalini he was described as being deluded. I know that all imbalances can be healed spiritually. None of the multiple antidepressants or antipsychotics he was prescribed had any affect at all. Apart from negative side effects. I could see things from both a mental illness and spiritual angle, they were just interested in drugging him up! 

It takes one to know one was quite evident also because unlike the psychiatric experts, my friend could always tell the difference between the mentally ill and the spiritually awake especially as an inpatient. All my friend needed was that root sense of stability and security because without that there can be no real healing or progress let alone find peace. 

It is true that there is a huge difference between the West and East regarding paths. In esoteric teaching it is recognised as such. I don’t think a “path” is even a concept they grasp in the human condition in the West? The problem in the West is that it’s culture is not geared up for an Eastern path that many westerners are now finding themselves on. The West’s holy spirit meets the East’s Kundalini.! Lol…. That is exactly what happened to me. 

From looking at yours and my friend’s so called psychotic states I realise that what would be termed a “psychotic episode” for me was that period when I experienced the invisible force stopping me from sleeping causing an induced sleep deprived 40 day/night period. As I spent nearly 6 weeks literally going through a mental and psychological process of preparing myself and planning for abduction from the planet. I had seriously reached that, ..ta ta take me…lol. I think that because of my alien/Jesus connection at that time to truth I believed in aliens and I trusted aliens. 


Recognising the facts now that sleep is required for our ongoing psychological processing. I was de processing. As in  Deprogramming. I remember playing my whole CD collection in a super heightened state experiencing the memories and emotions of the songs but feeling them all neutralise. I am laughing my head off thinking just how crazy people would have perceived me as being had I been forced to explain or able to actually talk (as in discuss) . Lol. That strange invisible force I talked about was also in place stopping me from speaking? I seriously felt like a mutant. Lol. 

And on reflection as frustrating as that period was, when I look at yours and my friend’s experiences boy was I glad I was no longer in the physical matrix world/life, i.e. with the drama playing out before you and you are being forced to interact or explain yourself during a period of psychodrama thinking/experiencing as it is ongoing to other people who are basically onlookers  …and I can only admire the way you dealt with it all 🙂

Laz 03/05/21:

Thank you for your admiration, although it is not sought or required 🙂 I personally feel that I could have dealt with it a lot better than I did and I trusted people that were not on my wavelength, such as my wife and her mother. Honestly it was like living with Agent Smith, and really showed me how people can snap out of their usual behaviour into worker bees of the system! 

Jane 04/05/21:

Good! but that was not actually my intention. But please allow me to give credit where I feel credit is due. 🙂

Laz 03/05/21:

If there is one thing I did well I would say that I was honest to the experience and my understanding of it as it changed. I thought initially that I was a born again Christian, but then in speaking with Jesus I learnt that I could go my own way with his blessing! I saw that spirituality was required for balance but the path and the journey could be unique and still as valid.

On that thought, it seems that the western culture needs to have this controlling organisation that is beyond question, such as the church, and more recently “science”. Unlike the East where the power is within the individual, over here we give all our power away to phony authorities 🙁

Jane 04/05/21:

As I know full well on this one….It is natural and easy to say that on reflection with the benefits of hindsight. I could say the same thing with hindsight about my experience especially about the hurt/upset I know now that I caused to my husband but I know we have absolutely no idea WTF is going on during a psychotic/spiritual episode. It’s like a barrage of chaotic and incomprehensible energy, like What? When? Where? How? Just crazy down the rabbit hole stuff.

Because it is within the concept of the abstract mind via a psychodrama, basically a different dimension but it is all going on inside our minds, mentally and psychologically on an internal realm. On reflection I can only see it now as Source getting our attention! Let’s be real about it that in the moment of experience, you don’t even know what’s going on, or if, never mind when it will end?  All you do at one level at least know is that you do not have any control……..right ? So be honest, how exactly and in what way do you feel you could have dealt with it a lot better, as you say? Without the benefits you now have as hindsight? I can see that no one was on your wavelength so you actually was in another realm as far as they or their perceptions were concerned. What did/do you expect of them ? To understand you? I have read your account and I honestly don’t think that at that time, in that moment of experiencing you could have done anything better. Hence my above observational admiration comment 🙂

 On that thought, it seems that the western culture needs to have this controlling organisation that is beyond question, such as the church, and more recently “science”. This is a repeating of history of humanity since early religion and science began. That was the great “split” centuries ago, it became like a perpetual pendulum swing of an intellectual war in the west. Between church v science in the superiority wars of consciousness/knowledge/awareness and even law! 

The world is always two eyed polar opposite. Its the duality of the matrix. Which is why neither side can “win” so the only logical solution is that it has to be assimilated. Balanced on both sides. My logical observation is, Just take the “church v science” shit out and instead evolve it into a blend of Spirituality and science. Big difference. I think that is being achieved? Firstly it needs to be done in the individual brain? Spirit and science. Left and right. Male and female.  Positive and negative.  

We think the East is more enlightened?  But today things have changed, it is only a select few of those in the East who are educated and awake enough who know or understand this as a possibility and therefore get to experience that philosophy as truth. so I can assure you that in this respect the unawakened in the East are in the same, if not far far worse situation than the unawakened in the West in giving power to phony authorities.

Think the caste system in India. Just look at their “culture” in their masses today. So I mean absolutely no disrespect but some countries like India are not collectively as “civilised” as the western standards expected of us.. Please understand that when I state something like that it is not a judgement nor a personal opinion.. just a basic observational fact! 

From my perspective Laz I believe all men are equal on one collective basic level. But I have to surmise they are not equal in levels of conscious intelligent awareness. Every human being has their own unique vibrational energy frequency. But when we vibrate at a higher level it doesn’t make us better than anyone else as in superior in the concept of heirarchy….it just makes us kind of different I guess?  How else can you explain it? I can zoom in on an emotional perspective of any individual event in humanity. But I can also zero out to a totally detached one of that same planetary humanity too. I am a bit like a zoom lens of awareness macro to micro : )

Laz 04/05/21:

So there was a part of me during my psychodramas that felt that what was going on wasn’t genuine and I felt like I was observing myself saying and doing things that weren’t real, almost like I was standing behind myself watching another me performing an act, as an actor reading lines. I think I could have stopped that from happening and prevented myself from saying/doing the things I did in hindsight.

Indeed, now if I suffer from anxiety I stop myself separating and thus remain in control. 

It’s funny to me now that I expected those around me to have some compassion towards me, to tell me everything was okay and that I would come through this. Instead they freaked out at my behaviour, acted out of character themselves. Through my eyes they became extremely selfish towards the situation, like they did not want anything to change in their lives, and my having a spiritual episode was somehow upsetting to them because they were not the centre of attention.

I watched a movie last night called Fearless, with Jeff Bridges, and the relationship he has with his wife after his near death experience completely mirrored my own. So i’m guessing this is not unusual and the wife commenting with anger “but what abut me, what about my needs?” is perhaps “natural”?

With respect to the Indians they have a very different culture with regards to death and from what I understand from the guys I used to work with they don’t make such a big deal out of dying. I’ve been looking at the Covid news recently with these enlightened eyes, and saying about the reporting WTF!!!

This is an English perspective on values that are not shared, and thus this fear porn is only intended to scare the British and reveals nothing about how India feels!

Jane 05/05/21:

When i said the Indian culture is not as “civilised” as ours I meant in general terms. As I say it is not a judgment or opinion just an unbiased basic fact. The way of the world so to speak. There is a basic test. You only have to look at the official laws in place on how a country are allowed to treat it’s women (half of it’s population) to know just how civilised that country is. I know it is not everyone but the general “culture of mind” in India is appalling towards women and even very young children who happen to be born female. Criminally so with impunity.

People are only recently waking up to it and taking action in India. This being the only way the country can possibly evolve. I know it is that way regarding inequalities especially towards the female in many countries and this shit is contained within their collective minds. Brainwashed into them culturally. Allowed by law, even. I have looked at the diversity of evolution across the planet and because nothing shocks me anymore about humanity it is now just fascinating to me that there are yet other parts of the world that are still so primitive that the people literally behave like savages towards each other with apparent total mindlessness and especially so it seems in the pledge of tribalism. 

But people can only be what they have been programmed into being by their life experience. In things like circumstances, environment, culture and upbringing. We are all born innocent but become a plugged in product of the matrix basically. Depending what country and situation you was plugged into, of course….Forgive them for they know not what they do 🙂 But the sad fact is that the people themselves cannot possibly evolve as a society/country with such barbaric energies where there is no love and there is no light, just imprinted primitive behaviours and emotions.

You know the type I mean, the densest energy type that need that vibration raising life-star laser like blasting…the most ! lmao.  Still working on it.. I know there are cultures like India that deal with death and dying very differently to ours. Especially emotionally. Considering it is the inevitable thing we all have in common I don’t think we do things too well regarding that subject in this country to be honest. Like you say the media use news like a fear porn.

I think it’s refreshing and fascinating that in the Indian culture they just set fire to the dead anywhere the way they do whether they float them off down the Ganges or do it on the streets 😀 There is one culture, somewhere in the Himalayas I think but they place the dead bodies high on the mountains on like shelves of a pantry carved into the mountains for the wild life to eat 😀 I mean if you cut out the human emotions that has got to be the concept of natures echo system at it’s most intellectually logical, practical and basic level is it not? After all we are made out of meat….A kind of human body / Natures larder /store  😀

Laz 05/05/21:

I’m not sure I agree with this statement about people only being what they are programmed to be, though. If one is prepared to take consciousness out of the game then this is correct, and this is the robot mentality. However consciousness and the spark of awakening drive us the other way right? Away from the programming!

Jane 05/05/21:

Yes you are correct, I was specifically talking about the reason we cannot judge these people. Some will never wake up, are uneducated and low level in consciousness. Some to the point of savagery. They are robot like. Victims. In backwards countries. But yes of course the spark of awakening drives us onto the right path away from the programming. Once we wake up we get very quickly wise to it all as well as what to unplug from. 

Laz Writing