Samyama

I'm really feeling the pull today towards a more natural and spiritual way of life, I want to quit my job and live on a retreat with other like minded people. I'm sick of the BS in my everyday work life, and can't be doing with it. All I desire is to sit alone and to have a samyama on God. My body aches with the yearning, and its all i can do to avoid just walking out the door never to return. I keep reminding myself that I stay for the good of my kids and i have a photo of them which i look at time and again remembering what i promised; that i would walk through hell for them. Well i'm not quite in hell but i am struggling, and struggle i must it seems.