Integrating a Kundalini Awakening: Positives
I’d like to begin this video with a statement about
my awakening experience. It was sudden and unexpected and happened without
my knowledge of what was going on. I know this is said often, but I
really didn’t know what Kundalini was until after my awakening. The
word Kundalini came to me on the wind, it was as if I suddenly knew
that this experience was Kundalini, but I still didn’t know what it
meant. I began to research the term and quickly found that my experience
was a match for the signs, symptoms, and experiences known about by
a few Indian Yogis. Later I found that the only text I had ever read
that mentioned it was the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, however I had forgotten
this snippet of information that Patanjali had only hinted at.
I believe that above my Raja Yoga practice of the eight limbs, it was
simply my steadfast adherence to the truth and to goodness that ultimately
lead to my awakening. I was put in trying situations in my life where
I had the option of lying to make my life easier, and looking the other
way to please people around me, but I chose the harder path of the truth,
and I suffered for it. But it was principally this choice and decision
that lead me to the test I would have to endure so that I may prove
myself to God. I think it was also important for me to show the world
what I was about, and I did this through the creation of a short lived
internet chat show, and by publishing a novel on my learning.
The awakening itself was difficult for me, morbid, and for three days
and nights I suffered mental disturbance and spiritual punishment like
something out of a Paranormal Activity movie, before reaching a peak
where I gave myself up for dead. Following this Kundalini rose to my
crown chakra, the sahaswara, and I felt something I can only describe
as a thousand orgasms lasting for tens of minutes, and I imagine that
this must be what has been referred to as the ecstasy of the saints.
Following this I was enveloped in the love of the creator that made
me cry so hard for being blind to this before, and so grateful that
I have had this opportunity to demonstrate my allegiance to good. Six
months later I had a similar experience and this time attained Samadhi
with a total cessation of ego an appearance of time stopping, and a
grand vision of universe containing the pervasiveness of consciousness.
What I would like to add to the knowledge that I’m sure everyone watching
this already has, is that I believe I forged a path to God on my own,
using my own belief system, and by cherry picking bits and pieces from
religions, philosophies, and spiritual practices. It is this new understanding
that I can bring to the table. That you can directly contact God, on
your own and in your own way, without the need for a vicar, a yogi,
a congregation, a temple, or even a doctrine. You can do it on your
own as an individual. If you have a pure heart, honest will, overcome
obstacles in your life, and devote yourself to learning about the human
experience, you too can reach an audience with God. Once you arrive
at that point, you will be put to the test, and that test will be personal
to you and your past.
What is God? Well in my experience, God is the source of all consciousness.
It is a connection between the piece of consciousness you hold in your
body, and the universe’s consciousness. It is neither male nor female
and it does not resemble a human body. It is pure energy, and while
it is capable of love, it is not as many religions would have you believe.
It seems to me that the Hindu’s have the most complete and practical
religion when it comes to reaching this universal consciousness, and
I align myself predominantly with that thinking. Although the story
of Jesus Christ on its own, and separate from the rest of the bible,
is also noteworthy as an example of cosmic consciousness. I do not believe
in one God or many gods, rather I believe in Polysolipsism and the source.
This is the idea of many individual paths to the source that can coexist
together, that my universe collaborates with your own and we both may
connect with the source by our own methods.
What is the point of life? In my opinion it is in your lifetime to connect
the source of consciousness, and then to listen for its will, and to
act on its behalf.
Loss of anger/judgement
The first noticeable change I found post awakening was that I had lost
all of my anger. I had been a rage monkey in periods of my life, and
when I awoke to Kundalini, I found that I was so in awe of the nature
of consciousness that I could never again be angry. I knew that I was
loved by the divine force behind life itself, and that the universe
had my back. In knowing this how could I be angry at anything in my
life again? It all seemed so pointless to get upset over this and that,
or one individuals doing over another’s.
In time I realised that there was another angle at work here, I had
stopped judging people and their acts. I couldn’t now take anyone’s
behaviour seriously enough for it to affect my mood, and as a result
I just stopped judging them, and instead tried to offer an alternative
positive take on their situation. Something that would hopefully make
them think about why things might not be the way they saw them. In doing
this my relationships with people seemed to be talked about by others,
and I could get on with people who others disliked, and what’s more
was that certain difficult individuals responded to me with respect
and kindness. It was, and is surprising to me that I can see positives
now where others cannot.
Middle way consistency
I find that my emotions are now following the rules of Raja yoga, in
that there are no more highs and lows present in my life. Situations
that previously made feel down and sad, don’t affect me, and I guess
almost regrettably, happy events don’t make me feel happy any more.
This middle way is part of the Yoga process and it allows for stability
to grow in one’s life. It’s kind of like Pink Floyd’s song Comfortably
Numb for me, with me being the child who has grown.
Flow
One of the most surprising and unexpected facets of Kundalini awakening
for me is that I seem to have found the flow of life, or rather the
groove in which the best music is played. I am living my life now without
concern for my future, and I am living without ego, doing only what
I need to do to stay in the groove, and the knowledge to navigate seems
to come from beyond my senses. I’m not sure if I’m listening to the
flow of the universe itself, or whether prayer brings it to me, but
I am definitely driven to do some things, and others I simply leave.
I don’t spend a lot of time now thinking about things, I just act, and
my actions seem to carry a weight that they didn’t before when I was
preoccupied with thinking about every detail. People seem to respond
better to me and celebrate my work, when I don’t really feel that I’m
trying very hard, and that I always have more to give if needed. There
is a puppet like aspect of existing this way, and the loss of free will
essentially is what it is all about. But it is not like I am brainwashed
by some evil director of MKUltra, and rather it is like acting on the
will of the source, which is always loving and benevolent. I don’t mind
being a tool for good in a world that has gone bad.
Synchronicity
You're a detective now, son. You're not allowed to believe in coincidence
anymore. Those are the words of Commissioner Gordon from The Dark Knight
Rises movie. They are so relevant to the post kundalini experience it’s
crazy to consider working out the odds of things happening as they’d
be too high. My life now is full of meetings and events, and witnessing
acts that are synchronistic. My presence in any situation seems to be
preordained and necessary for the outcome to be what the universe requires.
I’ve learnt to go with the synchronicities, and to not fight them, and
in doing so I simply find myself saying wow! A lot, to moments in my
life that make me reflect and give thanks for the majesty of existence.
My will becoming reality, not what I want but what I need
What I refer to is the idea that the universe is providing me with exactly
what I need, when I need it. It feels to me like a very fragile experience
that could end at any time, and this is why I’m a little nervous about
covering it. However I must communicate it and let others know. I do
not wish to state that my desires are manifest and my every whim materialised
before me, but that is how this could be perceived if it is not understood
correctly. I don’t get what I want, but I get what I need, and I listen
for and go with the flow of the universe, and so far it is holding.
I fear abusing this ability I have gained, as it too could be lost by
a false move on my part, and I do not want to skip out of this musical
groove I have found.
Bliss sensations/communication
I’ve had three major Kundalini events so far, with all which is associated
with the experience, and I am on a daily basis not able to achieve the
heights of that full on powerful experience. However I can feel Kundalini
Shakti working in me, and I am subject to small doses of Kundalini radiation
that seem to come on with a good deed that I have performed or a good
thought, or correct conclusion that I draw, and especially when I offer
thanks. When this happens I receive what I can only describe as a gift.
I get a sensation that seems to run the opposite way a rising Kundalini,
however it is definitely a relative as I recognise the associated electricity
and bliss that comes with it. It is like taking a hit from the bong
of manna that for a moment makes me feel amazing and offer gratitude
to the source for being in this life I have been given.
This experience also mirrors as a form of communication with other consciousness’s.
The subtle passage of the energy gives rise to knowledge of what is
being asked or answered by another. I believe this is the understanding
that mystics call vibrations, as the symptoms could easily be mistaken
for vibration of different frequencies in the spine and nervous system.
It is through this technique I was able to speak with the divine, and
receive my instruction governing the latter half of my life.
In this lifetime I’ve stood at the edge of the pits
of hell, and I’ve knelt at the opening doors of paradise, both are attainable
by anyone living today. I’m sure there is more to come and I’m always
amazed how much more there is to learn just when I thought I had reached
the end of all there is to know. I am humbled by my experience and grateful
for what I’ve been through. I know now that everything is about consciousness,
and the material world is merely a symptom of the human experience.
The universe is conscious and Kundalini is its messenger system, what
we call reality is just illusion.
