Closer to God

Experience is singular but split, one part is awake and the other dream.
Experience is the best form of truth, but it is far from perfect.
The universe is only as big as you percieve it, things outside of your universe are meaningless nonsense.
If you cannot experience something for yourself, it is not worth any worry.

Learn all you can about everything, never get into a situation where you don't understand the basics.
You cannot trust anothers spoken words, they are twisted by an agenda and a poor mental capacity.
Your memory is flawed, write things down in enough detail to recall at a later date.
Learn from others writing, but run everything they say past your own experience.

Experts are neccessary but do not seek to be one, stay open and flexible.
Be an adult and do not engage in games, but remember how to be a child and play to your hearts content.
Morals are better than money, never sell out, ever.
Show love to everyone, but do not expect to receive it.

No support from you, you won’t even talk to me, email when sitting next to me!
Extremely petty, always you are trying to put me down, desperately trying to enforce your control on me.
I don’t know what you want, hiding things I should be told, suffocated; I have no room to breathe.
You are unreliable, don’t follow up on things I have asked for, don’t do things on time.
I feel totally isolated from you, from the people around me, and from San Jose.

I am waiting for the right time to make my feelings known,
I am waiting for the right time to shout all hells fury,
I am waiting for the right time to know my strengths,
I am waiting for the right time to advance my position,

I am waiting,
is that time here, or already passed, maybe somewhen yet to come
How will I know, how will i tell, how will i cope until then.

"I will not be pushed" I said
"You will be filed, with the others" came a cold reply
He stamped an x across my head.

"filed, indexed; what am I to you?"
"You will be briefed in due course. Stand back against the wall"
A suggestive movement, I took a step back.

I asserted "no-one will brief me, nor will I be debriefed"
"You will do as I say!", he stood up
A drawer opened, he took a numbered card.

"You will not number me, you will address me properly" I stammered
A rye smile cracked, "You have no rights here"
He glanced at a guard.

"My life is my own" I defiantly uttered
"That's what you think", a sarcastic reply
I was lead away down a corridor

Hypocritical contradiction

I don't love you, but I love you anyway
I don't hurt you, but I hurt you all the same.

You are perfect for me, just what I need
not what I want, or what you wish to be
Am I perfect for you?, we'll have to see
Our time is coming, it is nearly here

I can't stand you, but I'll stand behind you nevertheless
I can't be with you, but i'm there in your heart allways

The nature of your being, has set me free
If I can return the favour, please let it be
Your time has come, time for bigger things
Bigger than you, and bigger than me

Let these contradictions end and let the hypocrisy go
Let us work as one and become the sattwa we see

Examination

He sits alone in his thoughts
the kind he fears the most
don’t want to face, the things that he must
Throws it aside, wakes in a sweat
opens his eyes, the time, the place, oh fuck, this is it

He has slaved very hard
needs to relieve the pain
wants to be free, never again
opens a page, turns to the end
all's in his mind, the hopes, the dreams, the tears, down to be read

He has thought it all through
the insect race he has lost
knows its assured, can't face the fact
what is left now, nothing but spit
fly from the bridge, the joy, the rush, the crack, down to the dead

Number 2

I want to open my heart to prove I’m alive
I want to pick out my brains to see what’s inside
I want to sell you my soul, maybe i’ll die

I want to be with you
I want to see you through
And we could be like new
Be my number 2

I want to live in a hole with you by my side
I want to cherish the dark before it is light
I want to pull out my nails and throw them aside

I want to be with you
I want to see you through
And we could be like new
Be my number 2

I want to hold you until the end of all time
I want to kiss your lips and tell you you’re mine
I want to live in your dreams and be on your mind

I want to be with you
I want to see you through
And we could be like new
Be my number 2

The need for speed

I did not know what to feel
My arm, it knew how to heel
I don't remember a face
But four bodies inside
What has happened to our race

I was not better, no better than he
An ancient devil inside me
After passing two, I was on the chase
Howling along, rain hard in my face

He was definately up for it
Shame his car wasn't too
At the end of the road
A flash of light, then night

Finger licking chicken feast fest

With only yourself for sure
and not sure you trust you
Go on down town
to have just a few

The bright lights mean nothing
the wet faces too
Its the same every week
everything looks new

Grab a girl who don’t have a clue
see your friends who don’t know you
down your pint and dance in the park
it’s KFC time you fucking tart

I can do what I like
I thought I liked you
I’m a child of the nineties
someone there must be to

you made me do these things
do these things to you
I needed someone to hold
but you just didn’t have a clue

Grab a girl who don’t want you
see your friends who now hate you
down your pint and dance in the dark
it’s KFC time you fucking tart

so thats it then
you’re all done now
I’ve become someone else
not the person I once knew

you can hide my misery
you could help me start anew
but you’re not there right now
will you never come through

Grab a girl you know what to do
see your friends you hate them too
down your kaks and move in the dark
it’s KFC time you fucking tart

I can't get you out of my head
I can't get you out of my bed
It feels so good that think I am dead
Oh I can't get you out of my head

I think of you, I, drink of you.
I think of you, I, drink of you.
I'd die for you, I'd kill for you

I can't help you out of your head
I can't help you out of my bed
Your fucked up ways they just hurt me instead
Oh I can't get you out of my head

I feel sick,
i feel sick to my gut, and i think,
i think just a little bit, sick,
sick to my gut and i think,
i think just a little bit.

What is it inside me that makes me feel,
what is it inside that won't let me heel,
what is this that they won't believe