Jane 26/07/21:

So it’s been a while since I read this, more than 5 years and I knew that this story has played a big part in our interwoven paths and history 🙂 As I read it this time I found I was holding the perspective of both characters, that of the teacher and the student. Genard and Drew. Like a two point focus simultaneously.

I also had the accompanying images this time which greatly enriched the experience :)From what I have already read up to now from the first Castaneda book I could definitely see the modernised influence running through the story 🙂

So are these tappers as the same as elementals? I remember in my shaman training I learned about these elementals as “beings” or energies that work on the different realms that they are sent out on including the psychological mind realm and on the emotional realm. I had comprehended it in exactly the same symbolic way that you conceptualised and animated it? These kind of psychic attacks are examples of the dark forces being used, but as I have already said voodoo/magic can be dark or light depending on intent of the practitioner. 

Laz 27/07/21:

So this is one of the crossovers that I noticed between Castaneda and Hinduism. The Hindus have the three Gunas, of Rajas, Sattva, and Tamas, which is where the names come from, and Castaneda has the stone beings and the tapping that occurs before a spiritual event occurs.

Jane 26/07/21:

As we already know, as you portrayed a mind that has been mastered can not be influenced in this way. A psyche and emotions that are mastered are the psychological protective shield. We become bulletproof to such mind controlled manipulation bullshit! But in the biology of belief in the human mind what you truly believe is true. Think the power of the placebo effect.

Laz 27/07/21:

yes, the nocebo effect too 🙂

Jane 26/07/21:

Unfortunately that can work both for and against inside a human psyche. In the lesson of the clarity he was teaching Drew with the TV, I realise that this is partly why I have a problem in watching some things, I cannot get lost in them. My mind is too aware that it is just acting and a lot of wooden acting at that. I am aware of the production team around the actors and that changes the viewing experience. 

I knew the ending of the book held great significance to me. But then when I got there and as I read the last couple of pages it felt so intense that tears automatically came to my eyes for a moment but I found they merged the energies of both extreme joy and sorrow together into a …balance.  It only lasted for a few moments. .. ..   I went from reading, imagining and getting a feeling that I have experienced myself that of Drew’s absolute ecstacy/bliss of going back to the light ……and then straight into Genards excruciating pain of the situation! 

The contrast was so profound! Inside literally what felt like the turn of a page! And I realised that is exactly how things ended with my friend. I was not aware of it at the time but as I said I felt the ecstacy of him leave and then got hit by the pain the next day. It has been fully processed so I am over it now but it did give it a perfect expression of both experiences, It kind of felt for me that by rereading that book I was refreshing as well as ended a chapter? 

Laz 27/07/21:

I’m very sorry for you, but also happy for you. The book has a tragic ending, and I sort of planned a return story for Drew but haven’t written it. 

Jane 27/07/21:

So that’s interesting It resulted in opposites for you too.

Jane 26/07/21:

I love the way your mind works and it is so creative, I could never write something like that. I could almost see it as a film production as I was reading it. It was so vivid, well for my mind anyway.   

So when did you start to write this? How long did it take to write? Is it a difficult process to get work published? 

Laz 27/07/21:

I guess it was about 2006, and I published in 2014, although it didn’t take that long to write, I was don by 2010’ish. The self publishing was easy, I couldn’t get any publisher interested, and even tried “that publisher”, who hated the story!

Jane 27/07/21:

That’s probably because his very mind works very differently.

Jane 26/07/21:

When we moved house and I heard my husband on the phone trying to give a description of character of me, to our newly registered G.P. He described me as being “extremely reserved and keeps herself to herself”. I found it funny because on hearing myself being described in that way that is the exact opposite of how I would have been perceived or described in my old way of life! But now I really do live like an extraterrestrial and that philosophy fits perfectly with my invisibility status in the matrix. Even in my physical and sensory realm I would seriously be happy living in an underground bat cave.

Laz 27/07/21:

I would love that 🙂 and I’m pleased you have found harmony

Jane 26/07/21:

As fellow aliens in the harmonic dimension of higher mind whatever frequencies we are functioning and communicating on, we resonate on similar vibrations of consciousness and unlike in lower domains it is in an energy realm where like attracts like : ) and that’s what it takes for an harmonious relationship.

Jane 27/07/21:

I know that everything happens for a reason and it is what it is, that is the flow of source but I still find it difficult to fully comprehend how it felt to me just like I lived your novel as my experience? It was so unique yet accurate …. How?  Mind into matter? Is that life imitating art? Is that the same as art creating/manifesting life? Like seriously did I read it then create it myself? I must admit that I am still somewhat confused by that ?

Laz 27/07/21:

I think that’s because I built it upon titans of knowledge, and cannot claim the underlying truth of the story as my own, oh and I also have lived the story, with the exception of the disappearance into the ether at the end. That was my learning point 🙂

Jane 27/07/21:

Can you elaborate on this any further? Are you referring to a taming of ego? 

Laz 27/07/21:

I can but I’m wary of it crossing a line, due to your linking it to your friend. My intent and your reading of it may be negatively different.

Jane 27/07/21:

Don’t worry about that, I am really interested to know 🙂

Laz 27/07/21:

So in the end Drew failed to understand Genard’s teachings and got consumed by his ego, leading to his “death”. This outcome came from the knowledge of awakening afforded to the aspirant and thinking that they are a “god”. This is a lesson that I learned before I had the experience myself, which was fortunate for me! While I felt like I could do anything, I knew that it was a mistake, a trap, a path to the wrong place.

Jane 27/07/21:

I completely get that and I totally agree. My friend bless him, tried so hard for years to understand, but was all consumed by his ego at the end. I got him to record his psychotherapy sessions so I got both sides and saw the changes in him. It was in his last psychosis that it really came out! Like full force! It took him over. His attitude changed to like a different person and became aggressively one of…”I am god and what I say goes..” 

I would tell him no you are not, that is ego talking and that’s not how it works. I told you in a psychodrama act he destroyed the planet in his emotional state, then sobbed in repentance. I knew then he had lost the plot and failed the tests. But having said that he was in dire circumstances with no security in his life and I think ultimately that was just too much for him to forgive? 

Yes and one of the greatest tests I believe but once the ego has been tamed that trap is no longer there. It is seen as the illusion that it is. In a way I don’t see the outcome as being tragic because I know he was desperate to physically leave the earth realm and he got his wish go home regardless 🙂 

27/07/21:

I’m pleased you can take solace in your friend’s story ending with him going home 🙂

Laz Writing